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December 15th, 2006

Harry Potter Fandom @ 02:44 pm


Title: iDobby
Author: nishizono
Genres: crack, smut,
Warnings: its a CRACK FIC!!!
Word Count: In the neighborhood of 700. Maybe 1000. Im not going to count them.
Status: complete
Summary: Complete crack!fic that features Dobby the Makeshift iPod, music by Panic! At The Disco, and of course hot sex with everyone's favorite potions professor. Dedicated to, and completely the fault of </a></b></a>xobasket_casexo.
Review: Its quick, its sweet, it gets the point across. Granted, its completely out of character with no characteriyation whatsoever, but its a crack fic and thats not really the point of it. I enjoyed it. Something nice to read when your brain needs a break from whatever garbage life is forcing you to endure.


'Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor just for the attention'

Severus Snape's head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes at the door of his office.

'Cause that's just ridiculously on'

Snape stood and strode to the door in a swirl of black velvet. The sound was coming from somewhere in the general vicinity of his classroom, and being that there was only one person in said classroom at the time, that could only mean that-

'Well, she sure is going to get it, here's the setting'


The door to the potions classroom flew open, striking the wall behind it with a resounding slam that should have made any student in a fifty mile radius stop cold. Harry Potter, however, paid his professor's malicious scowl no mind; he only continued to dance wildly atop the desk at the front of the room, lip-syncing along with the irritatingly loud music as he grinned down at the potions master.

'Have some composure, where is your posture? Oh, no, no'

Snape looked away from the impudent boy and scanned the classroom for the source of the music, his eyes coming to rest on a small figure huddled in the corner. Dobby the house elf stood against the wall of the classroom, looking terrified as he stared at the potions master with his eyes and mouth wide.

Snape narrowed his eyes. The music was coming from the elf's mouth; he could see Dobby's cheeks pulsing in time with the bass.

'You're pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger'

He strode over to Dobby, grasped him by the front of the dirty rags that served as clothing, and drug him toward the desk.

“Potter, you will tell your little pet to stop that infernal noise right this very instant”, he spat, glaring up at Potter.

The boy didn't answer, but instead hopped down off the desk and approached them, swaying his hips in time with the music. He was singing now, and Snape was surprised that the boy actually had quite a nice voice- a bit rough around the edges, but far from the fingernails-on-a-chalkboard sound he would have imagined.

'Give me envy, give me malice, give me a-a-attention'

“Potter”, Snape growled.

It was a warning, but Potter paid it no mind. The audacious boy wrapped his arms around his professor's waist, and stared up at him. Something in those damnable green eyes gave Snape pause, and Potter seized the opportunity to back him into the wall.

'She didn't choose this role, but she'll play it and make it sincere'

Snape made a halfhearted attempt to pull away, but the boy was surprisingly strong. A small part of him panicked at the realization that they were standing in the potions classroom where anyone could walk in and see them, but the rest of him was thoroughly enjoying the attention that Potter's lips were giving to his neck.

Potter wasn't singing now, but the music carried on around them uninterrupted as the boy fell to his knees in front of the potions master. Snape glared down at him, but they both knew his heart wasn't in it, and any words of protest that he might have offered died on his lips as the boy tugged the front of his trousers open and wrapped his fingers around his professor's straining erection.

'Have some composure'

A loud groan filtered in through the music as Snape's cock was enveloped in the tight, wet heat of Potter's mouth. He threw his head back, bracing one hand on the wall behind him as the other found its way to the back of the boy's head, fingers tangling in those wild black locks.

'Where is your posture?'

Potter's wicked tongue flicked across the head of his cock before pulling away, and now the glare that Snape cast in his direction was very real. The insolent boy merely smiled at him and stood, raking his tongue across his professor's lips, eliciting a moan from the older man.

'You're pulling the trigger'

With a growl, Snape grasped the boy by the front of his robes and turned him around, throwing him face first across the desk. Potter gasped, but the sound died into a needy moan as his professor's elegant fingers made quick work of the buttons on his trousers and pulled them down around his knees.

'Come on this is screaming'

“You are an arrogant-”, Snape hissed into his ear, and Potter felt slick fingers circling his entrance. He whimpered and pushed back against them as the potions master slid the first finger in to the knuckle.

'Come on'

“Presumptuous-”, the professor continued, pushing another finger into the writhing, begging boy.

'This is screaming'

“Insolent brat”, Snape finished with a growl as he removed his fingers and quickly replaced them with his cock, burying himself in Potter's arse in one thrust. The boy mewled like a kitten and wriggled his hips with such fervor that Snape couldn't remain still.

'This is screaming photo op'

Potter moaned and writhed like a wanton whore beneath his professor, grasping the edge of the desk as Snape thrust into him at a punishing pace. He could feel the heat of his orgasm building low in his abdomen, and when he heard his professor's strangled cry, he came with a shout of his own that nearly drowned out the music.

'Boys will be boys, baby'

Snape was vaguely aware of the horror on Dobby's face as the house elf stood obediently nearby to watch the final act of their performance, and he fell forward onto Potter's back with a muffled snicker. The insatiable boy moaned again, wriggling against his professor's softening erection, and Snape pinched his side with a smirk as Potter yelped.

“Detention, Potter, tomorrow night, for disrupting a professor's office hours”, he murmured against the back of the boy's neck.

“Yes, Professor Snape”, came the amused response.

'Boys will be boys'

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